Beautiful Way of Describing Adelyn♥

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Mixed feelings..

I don noe why i'm feeling this way.. I'm feeling soooo insecure... to say that i don trust him...hmm.. i do actualli.. but i sometimes feel like he's up to no good.. out of nowhere.. This feelings really making me mad.. I'm having a headache rite now just thinking and thinking of this.. i don noe why i feel so suspicious of him.. whereas a part of me noe that he's loyal to me.. this part of me noes that he didn't do anything at all.. it's been a long time since i've talked to him on the phone for a long period of time..
Since my prepaid is low now..and his is too.. i just feel so damn insecure.. knape ni... i hate feeling this way really.. i don wan to feel this way.. but i can't help it!.. ish.. help me pls.. my head really hurts..
Bcoz of this feelings.. i always makes him mad with my interrogations.. yup.. really.. he said i was like a police officer asking him all this stupid questions.. I think all the questions that i really wanted to ask him did not surfaced.. yes its all settled actualli.. but theres still this few questions thats still stuck in mind..
i think i've kept it too deep until i myself can't take it myself.. erghh!! pls la.. how can i get this headache to stop..
When i asked him to called.. (using a public phone of coz..since his ppd is low..) he did fulfilled it but i can't seem to get the mindset of him being disloyal to me out of my head.. ya ALLAH why is this.. urgh..
The thought of him being in the same place with his ex then.. really scarred me..really badly.. i can't seem to trust him the way i did before.. Really made me sick.. really.. i noe he loves me.. and i love him soooo much.. but i don't noe why the hell this feelings daunt me..
If i love him..shouldn't i trust him..? Shouldn't i be happy that all the questions that i had was answered..? well almost all the questions.. why la am i like this? Why can't i be direct and ask him the questions that i really kept in my mind..Why...?
Is it wrong to feel this way? is it wrong? Afterall he've had an even more serious relationship with her than me.. URGH!!!! i really wanna noe all this...shud i ask him.. i'm really scared that if i bring all this up again another fight will be brewed..
i'll probably find a way to settle all this.. just wanna get it all out of my system.. oh god pls pls pls.. dun let this suspicions be true.. i really don wan to lose him..

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Adelyn had her say
at 7:50 PM.