Thursday, March 11, 2010
Life
Everybody has problems and most people have different problems but the most common problem is financial... Finance in my family nowadays is really very tight... After my father left us, my mother hasn't found a job... So she's only coping with the money that's left from the selling of the woodlands home... I really pity my mother eventhough sometimes I make her suffer even more... reaching home at dawn and not even leaving her a message or a call to update her or something...I mean we tend to do that all the time but unintentionally rite...
I wouldn't say i hate my father, I really don't... I still love him... But i just don't like the way he treats my mother... He's trying to show her or rather prove to her that without him, we all die.... Yes, i admit, then we always depend on him... for school wise and everything else concerning money.. But now, the way he's trying to prove is very very harsh to me... and in other ways, it may seem like he's trying to make us fall too... Why? Why does he have to do that? I know letting go is a very difficult thing to do... But sincerely from my heart... I can see that he's at the fault... And he just can't accept the fct that he's the sole reason for all of this... As i was saying I don't hate my father, I just despise what he did, and what he's still doing now..
School
Yes!! Exams finished... And i Know I did my very best for SVE and WTB but HRA... Believe me, is really going to be a flop! I didn't even touch my HRA book. I know that was wrong... but i just don't have the mood you know... But thinking back now... If i were to study, I would have nailed that paper, coz everybody was gloating and saying that the paper was easy... OMG! I feel like shouting... "EASY??" Hahahaha... But i know it was my fault that i didn't study that's why I kept quiet.
On this coming monday, 15/3, there's gonna be a class chalet... and i'm really looking forward to it... It's gonna be a blast... The chalet is at Costa Sands and Aunty Jo booked a 3D2N scheme... I doubt we're going to sleep... We're going to have fun and we're going to spend some quality time with each other to bond u know... which is good la... Hahahaha I just really hope the couples won't wander off and you know... Hah!
As u all were wandering... Today's the first day of holidaysand I don't have a freaking job... I mean a stable job... I just don't know what I'm going to do for this three weeks... No money, No job, No plans besides the chalet la... Walan eh! Hahahaha... I will think of something to do... for sure...
Besties
Yesterday after school, Faz came to my house and she brought her guitar and her laptop... We were supposed to wait for An until 6....But this badigiol here... His class finishes at 7.30 pm so... We wait while singing and recording a few songs... I did the singing and Faz did the strumming... Didn't think i could sing rite? Yeah me too ... Heee...
And so when An finally came along... Faz got hungry and so we went to the long john silver's which is at Commonwealth... We ate the new combo which has the shrimp, fish and chicken all inside... Only $5.50... Murah je... heee... Then we lepak at the playground around that area too.. Our plan was to head off home at around 2 am... But when the clock strikes 3 am without us noticing... An was lost... He didn't know whether to go home or not if he went home rite there and then, he'll be sleeping outside... So i asked him to sleep at my house.. He didnt want... Giving reasons that he feels awkward coz he'll be the only guy in the house... Then tk jadi... Nevermind...
So we just lepaks at the big 24hrs McDonalds there around commonwealth jgk... Coz by then, Faz got hungry again... Haha... I didn't ate.. no appetite.., by then I was so damn sleepy!... Den we went to the busstop and waited for the first bus... And while i was talking... They kept asking me to shut up... Coz they say I look like a ghost when I talk... I didn't know whether thats true or not...hahahaha! Kalau nk suroh aku diam, ckp aje tkmo beri alsan... Hah! But i don noe, coz Faz's hair standing up when she described my face.. After the bus came, we went our separate ways and went home...
Love
Currently I dont love anybody now.. The feelings just kind of mixed up u know... Unsure to be exact... Being single is an awkward thing after a break up from a 1 year relationship.. I wont say I miss Abu... Coz i dont... really... And even if i say it, Later Faz and An won't be friends with me anymore ... Hahahah... That really cracks me up... It shows that they care bout me ... Aww... Heee... As i was saying... I dont miss Abu... I just miss the companion, the warmth, the love from somebody...
Yes, being single, I feel freedom... I am free to do what i want, go where i want, with who i want without reporting strength to anybody... That's the good thing... But the bad thing is that, I feel alone... Nobody to love me... gaze into my eyes when i'm talking... Staring at my face when i'm busy doing something or even touched by someone special...
Complaints aside... This is what i chose when i decided to go alone... Without anyone... But i'm sure... Someday I will be found by him... Not me find him... He find me... hahahahah LOL!
Him
Screw him... I dont know what to say anymore... He keeps spite-ing me when the answer that he's looking for is already in front of his eyes... I just don't freaking care anymore... Whatever he wanna do... just do la... Hmmph...
Oh btw just now I heard noises like gunshots near my block there... Then mama and me go and kaypo... You know what we saw? Freaking fireworks!! Better believe it! Freaking fireworks near our estates... Hahahaha... That really made my day man...
at 8:51 PM.
